Back in May 27, 2008 my brother passed. He wasn't murderd, he didnt commit suicide, he didn't have cancer or anything like that. Our higher power simply called him home one day. I couldn't believe it I was in denial for a minute. You don't think that your siblings would pass at an early age especially your younger siblings. My brother and I had a year seperating us. We were close through out our years. Y'all think I talk about my sister and love her to pieces.....sheesh I went ham when it came to my brother.
June 4, 2008 was when we said our last goodbyes to my brother. Family from D.C., South Carolina, North Carolina, New York, Maryland and other states showed up. It was a celebration of life to be honest. For some reason I felt inclined to close the casket when it was time to do so. This for me held so much significance to this particular day.
When making the arrangements we each ordered pieces of jewelry that would contain my brothers ashes. My piece was a pink tear drop that hung from a sterling silver necklace. You couldn't tell me this necklace wasn't dope. The funeral home called us a few days after the service to pick up the jewelry. I rode with my aunt to pick up hers and mine. I felt okay knowing that I had a piece of my brother that I could carry with me.
After we left we decided on meeting up with a few family members for drinks and food. I wasn't that hungry but boy I sure was thirsty. My drink off choice of course was Patron. I had 2 shots and I didn't want to drink anymore. Two shots...yes only two. The Patron bully just didnt want to drink anymore. I was ready to go but I got to the car and just broke down. I was crying out to God asking why he had to take my brother. Screaming he knew I loved my brother more than anything and everyone. Asking God why he couldn't spare his life because my brother was my all and all. I'm guessing at some point my aunt called my dad because she couldn't control me or get me in the car. I do remember getting in my dad's truck and crying and still going through the motions. I heard my dad praying and praying hard. I'm still fussing God out about my brother. We reached my dad's church and I remember hearing the saints praying for me and I was left at the altar. They just left me there and that's where I slept. I woke up and felt so much better. I now know that God took my brother so I could have a closer walk with him. Was I mad and bitter? Yes I was. I even avoided church for a while because I thought that was the second time I was let down by my higher power. The things we love the most and put so much value on can easily be taken away. I now know to give thanks and appreciation for all the things I have also for the things I don't.
Day 4 of my fast.
#thinkingthroughmythumbs
When making the arrangements we each ordered pieces of jewelry that would contain my brothers ashes. My piece was a pink tear drop that hung from a sterling silver necklace. You couldn't tell me this necklace wasn't dope. The funeral home called us a few days after the service to pick up the jewelry. I rode with my aunt to pick up hers and mine. I felt okay knowing that I had a piece of my brother that I could carry with me.
After we left we decided on meeting up with a few family members for drinks and food. I wasn't that hungry but boy I sure was thirsty. My drink off choice of course was Patron. I had 2 shots and I didn't want to drink anymore. Two shots...yes only two. The Patron bully just didnt want to drink anymore. I was ready to go but I got to the car and just broke down. I was crying out to God asking why he had to take my brother. Screaming he knew I loved my brother more than anything and everyone. Asking God why he couldn't spare his life because my brother was my all and all. I'm guessing at some point my aunt called my dad because she couldn't control me or get me in the car. I do remember getting in my dad's truck and crying and still going through the motions. I heard my dad praying and praying hard. I'm still fussing God out about my brother. We reached my dad's church and I remember hearing the saints praying for me and I was left at the altar. They just left me there and that's where I slept. I woke up and felt so much better. I now know that God took my brother so I could have a closer walk with him. Was I mad and bitter? Yes I was. I even avoided church for a while because I thought that was the second time I was let down by my higher power. The things we love the most and put so much value on can easily be taken away. I now know to give thanks and appreciation for all the things I have also for the things I don't.
Day 4 of my fast.
#thinkingthroughmythumbs
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